The 4 stages

Since arriving in Canada last October I have felt myself going through a lot of inner struggles. I wanted to just get here, enjoy the experience from the get go and for things to be easy and happy. Unfortunately, reality is that I go from being totally elated to a blubbering mess, content one minute to totally distraught the next. It’s true, I am struggling despite being very happy to be here. I am an emotional person anyway and have always worn my heart on my sleeve so I’m used to emotion and am not at all surprised by it, but I do feel a little disappointed in myself for not being able to let go and relax into my new life here.

I remember reading something about 4 distinct phases people go through when living abroad before we left Australia - so I was somewhat prepared for this inner turmoil. I wasn’t prepared however, for how quickly those stages would occur in me and furthermore, how strong the feelings associated would be.

For those who aren’t familiar with this theory here is a basic rundown…

Stage 1 – Elation

Everything is new and exciting  and you can’t believe you are here. The novelties are abundant - stuff your family and friends back home look what they’re missing out on. You are still in holiday mode.

Stage 2 – Resistance

Reality sets in - the holiday is over and now you have to get into some sort of routine. You miss your family & friends and constantly compare things between here and home… Home is definitely winning.

Stage 3 – Transformation

You settle down and become more familiar with your new surroundings. Things that seemed foreign before are somewhat common now and you’re comfortable for now.

Stage 4 – Integration

The bridging is complete and you now appreciate both your heritage and  your new lifestyle. You realise the great opportunities this has and will continue to bring you.

I hope I can complete the 4 stages of ‘acculturation’ as they call it, because apparently a lot of people get stuck in the resistance stage and remain there until they go back to their home country. I can totally understand how this could happen as I have felt myself there for the past couple of months… I do feel the transformation starting to come into play though.

It hasn’t been easy on D having to listen me stuck in the second stage for so long – that BASTARD has already arrived at stage 4! But I can’t hide my true feelings for long and honestly, I wouldn’t want to. I really want to get everything out of this experience before we go home. Fingers crossed I can work through it and finish our time here having squeezed everything I possible could from my life here. Time is the key and I know that as time passes it will only get better and better!